Pots
by YACCBS
Summary: She would always remember the first time she heard him laugh. Mild Yuffentine, mainly VY friendship. Winner of Genesis Award - Best Humor.


A/N: Hello readers. This is my first published work of fanfiction in nearly four years, and I must say it's damn good to be back to writing. This is my very first attempt at FF7. Feel free to leave reviews, and constructive criticism is always welcomed. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own it. But I do own my computer with its sexy background of Vincent.

**Pots**

She would always remember the first time she heard him laugh.

They were on their way to face Sephiroth for the last time, for better or for worse. They had reached a fork in the path, and decided to split into two groups. Yuffie went with Cloud, Nanaki and Vincent, while the rest took the other path. She hadn't liked the idea of splitting up but recognized it as a necessary action – at least someone would end up by Sephiroth.

And then her group had come to another fork, causing them to split into twos. She went with Vincent, taking the lower path as Cloud and Nanaki headed for the upper.

So now she and the sexy-in-a-dark-and-broody-way Vincent were picking their way across the odd vegetation-strewn paths, avoiding the giant pools of water. There were few monsters, and those they came across were quickly dealt with. Yuffie also noticed lanterns glowing in the dim mist, beckoning her, but when she tried to head towards one Vincent had firmly steered her in another direction.

They were about halfway across when Vincent stopped suddenly. Yuffie, curious, edged around him on the narrow path to see what was causing the hold up.

A small, squat pot – that reminded her of a cookie jar – was sitting in the middle of the path a dozen metres ahead of them.

She eyed it suspiciously.

"What is it?" she asked, glancing at Vincent.

Vincent was also studying it, crimson eyes glowing softly.

"...I'm not sure."

She watched it for a few more seconds, ready to grab Conformer if it made any sudden moves.

The pot sat there, unmoving and appearing completely normal.

Well, as normal as a random pot in the middle of the northern crater _could_ appear.

She cautiously took a step towards it, perfectly balanced and ready to spring into action. The pot still did nothing, so she took another step. Suddenly, in a movement so abrupt she had her Conformer clutched in her hand before she even realized she had drawn it, it began to hop up and down. And then it yelled at her.

"Gimme Elixir!"

She stared, feeling completely nonplussed.

"Gimme Elixir!" the pot yelled again.

She felt Vincent come up behind her, Death Penalty drawn.

"Gimme Elixir!" it yelled at her again. She frowned, annoyed.

"No, you confused piece of pottery!" she yelled back at it.

"Gimme Elixir!" it yelled once more, ignoring her completely. Narrowing her eyes and shooting the pot a glare, she turned to Vincent.

"Would you do us all a favour and shoot it, Vinnie?"

Saying nothing, he took aim and fired, hitting the pot squarely. The pot, however, continued to bounce unperturbed, without so much as a mark on it.

"Gimme Elixir!"

"What the hell?" Yuffie cursed. "You didn't miss it did you?" she asked Vincent, though she knew that was not the case.

He just looked at her, not bothering to respond.

"Fine, don't get your panties in a twist, I was just asking." The pot continued to bounce and yell at them. "What do you think we should do?"

Vincent, with his usual tone of indifference, responded. "We'll give it an Elixir."

"WHAT? No way, do you know how much those things sell for?" Yuffie protested, but Vincent was already tossing one of the precious vials to the bouncing pot, which flipped open its lid and neatly caught the elixir inside of it. The glowing multicoloured sparks surrounded it for a moment, but there was no obvious effect. The pot continued to bounce, though it had, thankfully, stopped yelling at them.

"What now?"

In response to Yuffie's question, Vincent simply shot the pot a second time.

This time, a huge chunk was blown out of it as Vincent's shot hit home. Shards of pottery blew in random directions, creating a dangerous explosion of shrapnel.

The pot continued to bounce, apparently completely oblivious to the gaping hole it had just acquired. It made no move to defend itself or to attack them.

It simply bounced.

Yuffie, who was getting dizzy watching it in its up and down path, bounded forward and slashed in from the side with Conformer. The pot, already weakened by Vincent's attack, was smashed apart, the shattered remnants scattering and finally lying still.

Yuffie straightened up, looking around her at the remnants of the pot.

"Weirdest. Monster. Ever." she stated emphatically. "And that's including the retardedly rich cactus man." Vincent simply shrugged, holstering his Death Penalty and leading the way farther down the path.

Not two minutes passed when they came upon two more of the pots, which started to bounce and yell "Gimme Elixir!" as soon as they got close enough.

"Oh for Leviathan's sake," Yuffie said, staring unhappily at the pair of pots and giving an exasperated sigh. "This is ridiculous!" Seeing Vincent reach into his bag for some more Elixirs, she grabbed his arm.

"No way are we wasting our precious supplies on a pair of frigging pots," she told him vehemently.

Vincent, shrugging, removed his hand from the bag. "Do you have another idea?" he asked.

Yuffie grinned. "I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi, aren't I? I _always_ have another idea." Ignoring his rather bemused expression at this proclamation, she sat down, rummaging around in her bag until she pulled out an empty vial. Nodding to herself in satisfaction, she set it down, then returned to her bags to pull out a Bolt Plume, a squiggling pair of M-Tentacles, a Fire Fang, an Ice Crystal and a Vampire Fang. She then proceeded to stuff these all in the vial, cackling to herself all the while. Pushing the final bit of squirming tentacle into the vial, she held it up so she and Vincent could admire it, Yuffie nodding with a satisfied air as Vincent just stared, a slightly pained expression on his face.

"Something's missing..." Yuffie mused, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "What do you think, Watson?" she asked Vincent, before letting out a "Bwaha!" of revelation, and reaching into her bag again. Vincent, his expression confused, watched suspiciously as she dug through their packs. His eyes widened slightly as she emerged holding a Grenade.

"Poifect!" she exclaimed in glee. Vincent watched as she stripped the covering off the Grenade and removed the explosive, still attached to the firing pin, and carefully lowered it into her vial so the pin stuck out at the top.

"What happened to not wasting our precious supplies?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "...And how do you know how to dismantle a Grenade?"

She gave him a look she specifically reserved for people who asked stupid questions. "Don't question the brilliance of the Great Ninja Yuffie and her plans, and what ninja _wouldn't_ know how to mantle or dismantle an explosive device?"

The eyebrows remained raised. "Fine, then, but I don't think that's going to work." he said.

Yuffie glared at him. "And why not?"

"Well," he started slowly, reaching down to the bags, whose contents were now strewn all over the path, "_that_," he pointed at the volatile concoction in her hand, "does not look anything like _this_." He pointed at the Elixir he was now holding, its rainbow of colours exuding a slight aura from within its vial.

She looked at him as if he had just suggested that ShinRa was staffed by Carebears.

"Vinnie, they're _pots_. POTS. They couldn't tell the difference between a chocobo and the Highwind."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but we have no idea how intelligent these _pots_ are."

"Vinnie...POTS! BOUNCING pots! That yell the same GODDAMN phrase over and over and over again! How can they be anything near to intelligent? Unless you define intelligent as having the IQ of Clou-"

"All they ask for are Elixirs, Yuffie. They may not be intelligent but they probably recognize the thing that they ask for."

Yuffie unhappily conceded the point. She sat on the ground, a small frown of thought on her face. She glanced at the Elixir in Vincent's hand, then back at her own potion. A huge grin crossed her face.

"I got it!" she yelled, snapping her fingers. She flew at their bags once more, rooting around until she emerged with a canteen full of water and, to Vincent's surprise, vials of food colouring. Seeing his look, Yuffie raised her eyebrows.

"Just know that it involved Cid, and his drinking what he _thought_ was cranberry juice." Vincent closed his eyes, undoubtedly offering a prayer of sympathy for Cid, and Yuffie, cackling once more, poured the water and, after some deliberation, the red food colouring in with a touch of blue.

She stood up, holding the potion above her in a triumphant salute to her own genius.

"I shall call it," she declared, "the Great Ninja Yuffie's Concoction of _Fatality_ and_ Pain_ to All Bouncing Pots." She turned to Vincent, a devilish expression on her face. "Ready to embrace your inner sadist?" she asked.

"Yuffie, I don't think this will work..."

"Psh, you are such a doubter Vinnie. Of _course_ it'll work, I came up with it!" Vincent just looked at her, then slowly began backing away.

She narrowed her eyes. "Coward!" she yelled, sticking out her tongue at him.

"Just looking for a better place to observe your genius." Vincent called back smoothly.

"Oh, yeah, sure, you stupid vampire," she muttered. "Alright, pots," she murmured, turning to the pots, who had not stopped bouncing and yelling during the whole process of potion-making. "OI! I GOT SOME ELIXIR FOR YOU!" she pulled the pin, and drew back her arm to throw her special brew, speeding it on its way with a "Nyuk nyuk nyuk!".

Her Concoction of Fatality and Pain spun through the air. One of the pots made as if to catch it, but just before it arrived it slammed its lid shut, causing the potion to bounce off.

It came to rest at Yuffie's feet.

"Oh _shi_ –"

The explosion slammed her off her feet, and she was privy to the very unpleasant experience of being burned, frozen, zapped by lightning, poisoned, and having her blood sucked out of her all at the same time.

She slammed down onto her back, hard, some feet away from where she had been standing. Her ears were ringing, and she stared dazedly at the ceiling above her, waiting for the world to stop spinning.

After a minute later, she managed to sit up and cast Poisona on herself before she ended up passing out. The ringing in her ears had started to die down, and she could hear a new sound.

A gruff, deep, rumbling laugh.

She looked behind her. Vincent was leaning against the wall, watching her, fighting a losing battle to stop the chuckles emerging. Her first reaction was a pleasant shock at the fact that Vinnie, _Vinnie_, was laughing. And it was such a lovely laugh. Her second reaction was to realize he was laughing _at_ her. At _her._ And nobody laughed at Yuffie Kisaragi.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LAUGHING AT, YOU USELESS SHITHEAD?!" she screeched at him. This only caused him to give another loud bark of laughter, which he quickly attempted to hide behind a cough.

"You uh..." he 'coughed' again, "You might want to take a look at you reflection." Another cough. She glared at him, but her curiosity got the better of her and she dragged herself rather painfully to the edge of the water and looked down.

Her eyebrows were singed, along with her hair - which was also standing up on end and entangled with a shrivelled tentacle. Her nose and cheeks were frostbitten, which contrasted with the paleness of her skin – at least in the places where she didn't suffer from minor burns. A small wisp of smoke drifted lazily up from her left nostril and to top it all off, everywhere she looked there were large purple splotches of food colouring.

She looked back up at Vincent. Though she couldn't see his mouth behind his trademark red cloak, his cheeks kept twitching in a way that let her know he was grinning like a fool, and he couldn't stop his eyes from shining with amusment.

She got to her feet, hands clenched as she glared at him.

"Not. Funny!" she choked out. Vincent said nothing, but his cheeks were still twitching.

"Jerk." she said, but as she did the tangled tentacle slipped so that it was partially dangling in front of her face. She automatically stared at it, cross-eyed, and Vincent erupted into another bout of laughter.

She couldn't help it. She grinned, too, as she carefully removed the tentacle from her hair. "Just trying out the latest fashions." she said in a mock-haughty voice. She Cured herself, then looked back at Vincent, who had finally managed to stop laughing.

Coughing again, and carefully clearing his throat, he said, "I apologize."

She smiled, but then her face softened somewhat as she studied him, a realization dawning on her.

"I've never heard you laugh before."

He stared at her for a few seconds, all traces of joviality gone as his expression became carefully blank.

"That's because I haven't laughed in over 31 years," he replied quietly.

Yuffie blinked. That simple statement stuck her as profoundly sad. Laughing was practically her favourite pastime. She couldn't imagine going without it for so long.

"You should do it more often," she told him. He just shrugged, and looked away, gathering up the supplies that still lay about.

"So what about those pots?" he asked, gesturing to the still bouncing pots.

Yuffie looked at them, then back at Vinnie. "I vote for a tactical withdrawal."

He nodded once. "Sounds fine to me." He walked back the direction they came, and Yuffie began to follow. She stopped though, at the remains of the shrivelled M-Tentacle, and grinned.

"Vinnie," she called, and he turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised in question.

"I, er, just want to say that, ummm..." she stammered, squirming under his gaze, "I'm glad that you laughed, even it was at, ya know, my expense." Vincent just looked at her, his expression indecipherable. She cautiously approached him, and leaning towards him, whispered:

"Though you understand, that when this is all over, I will have to exact revenge upon you for your glee at the price of my dignity."

She walked past him, grinning at the worried look on his face. No one laughed at the Great Ninja Yuffie without being painfully reprimanded. Remembering Vincent's rumbling laugh, however, gave her pause in her plans for vengeance.

Maybe, she thought, she could make an exception.


End file.
